For several months, I have had the above tagline: Former Super Model, Mother to Boy-Genius, and Married to One of the 50 Sexiest Men Alive, just trying to live a normal life in spite of being beaten to the mat by Secondary Infertility.
Recently, I've received a rash of emails wanting to know if I really am a former super model. As much I wish I could say I was a former super model, I am not. I was once propositioned about 10 years ago to become a lingerie model by some guy hanging out at a hair show for which I had volunteered (it was the only way I could afford to get my hair to no longer be green from home-coloring kits). I even took his card and drove to The Metro to check out his "studio". Needless to say, it all turned out to be a little sketchy. Plus, no model - super or not - is going to locate her butt to Small Town, Nebraska.
And while I'm at it, my son is no boy-genius. At nearly 4 1/2 he refuses to try to read, but he can fool me each time I pull out a book as he usually has the story memorized so I believe he actually may be "reading". However, I am quite impressed with his ability to associate things into his memory. When he sees a Cola delivery truck, he can tell by the logo what kind it is. Same with beer. It could be a B*d, M1ller, He1n1ken, etc. and he will point and say, "Look, Mommy, that says 'Beer'. I don't like Beer." I should state for the record that we are not beer-drinkers. Our neighbors who have two girls that X goes and plays with? Well, their Mommy drinks enough beer for the whole neighborhood...but who am I to judge.
Lastly, Mr. DD is not by any stretch of the imagination one of the 50 sexiest men alive. Unless, you find Jay Len0 sexy, because he has been told he looks like him a dozen times. He was even stopped by some lady in a Vegas casino because in her drunken state, she was sure Mr. DD was Jay. However, I use to tease Mr. DD in his younger days that he looked like this guy. He didn't find that funny for two reasons: 1) the nature of his notoriaty; and 2) somewhere along the bloodline, they are related. And as I look at that picture, it's still rather uncanny the resemblance.
The myth has been busted. Ladies (and gentlemen?), you have nothing to be envious of. The only part of that tagline that's true is I'm just trying to live a normal life after being beaten to the mat by secondary infertility. Anyone got some smelling salts?
Tuesday 2 May 2006
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