As the reality of my fertile-now-infertile status soaks into my head (and heart), I have been struggling with finding the “bright side” of it all. I have actually found a few things to list:
1) No more deer-dodging on my early morning drives to The Metro for 10 minute dildocam dates.
2) I no longer pick up a Pepsi and have to convince myself I should have water instead.
3) We are considering trading our V8, enviro-unfriendly, soccer-mom SUV, which we bought in preparation of the Brood-That-Never-Will-Be a couple years ago, for something a little more practical for a modest family of three.
4) No more prenatal vitamins! Oh, but how my nails will suffer. *sigh*
5) We can finally plan a vacation without having to worry about flying while pregnant or being in the throes of a stimulated cycle.
6) The other medical attention I want no longer needs to be put off, which includes, but is not limited to:
--> Mild depression for which my GP suggested an AD for two years ago but I opted out since it wasn’t recommended “if you are pregnant, or intend to become pregnant”.
--> Lasix. Again, due to the all the changes that occur in pregnancy, my optometrist said to wait at least six months after a pregnancy.
--> As a last hurrah in the stirrups for the year, I have scheduled a PAP for next Wednesday. Thank you, RE Clinic, for reminding me I should get one scheduled.
--> Accutane. Ah, sweet accutane. I did a four month treatment the year I got married and was thrilled with the results. Eight years later and after riding great hormonal tidal waves, another round would be wholly appreciated. I still find it slightly ironic that my insurance will cover treatment of zits, depression and a routine screening, but not infertility.
7) And finally, some odd miscellanea like dropping acid and weekend hits from a home-made bong can be penciled back into my palm pilot.
Feel free to add your own ideas or suggestions, because quite frankly, this list doesn’t really make me feel much better.
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